ms. negative

I'm going to take a break from our regularly scheduled program to direct your attention to a recent article in the New York Times, "The Power of Negative Thinking," by Oliver Burkeman.

In it, he suggests that positive thinking may be more problematic than it's worth. This practice encourages the thinker to ignore or deaden sadness, fear, pain, anxiety, guilt (insert other negative feeling or situation here) when they arise. But this approach renders her completely ill-prepared to deal with these unpleasantries when they inevittable do occur. Wouldn't it be more productive instead to be open to negativity, get in the habit of relaxing when it presents itself, and attempt to learn something about ourselves in the process?

Then we'd be ready for whatever life throws at us! (That last little bit isn't exactly Burkeman; it's more like me getting a little carried away.)

Speaking of feelings, I had a really strong one after reading his piece. It was:

Complete and utter RELIEF.

That's because, if I were to make a list of my talents, the ability to think positively on a consistent basis wouldn't be at the tippy-top. I'm not saying I walk around like Joe Btfsplk. Not at all.

But I do have moments, hours, sometimes even a whole day or two where I find the negative feelings to be overwhelming. Instead of trying to focus on the positive or replace them with good feelings, I just try to ride them out. And I've always been a little worried that this meant there was something wrong with me, because I couldn't just "think" them away.

I think that's why I've had such a strong connection to When Things Fall Apart. Instead of trying to numb the negativity or run away from it, she encourages us to sit with it, relax in the chaos and uncomfortableness, and learn not to panic. There's always going to be bad times, isn't it a good idea to become skilled at tolerating them instead of pretending like they don't exist?